On Friday, it occurred to me, “Why don’t I just go to be with Spouse early?” There was really nothing keeping me in New Job Town, and I really knew that I was at the end of my rope. I called him, told him I was coming home, and started getting ready to leave.
Early Saturday (around 7 AM Eastern), I left and drove the entire 15 hours in one day, arriving in Sleepy Southern Town at around 9:30 PM Central. The hours and miles flew by, because I knew I was in a place where I would be happy. I cannot tell you how great it felt to arrive, put my key in the door, and to be greeted by my dog.
My state of mind since then has been exponentially healthier. Yesterday, I ran a little over two miles, fixed a delicious chickpea stew for a potluck, and hung out with a lot of old friends. I’ve also applied for more federal jobs, hoping that they work out and I can be rid of academe. This whole job search process has been utterly capricious and pathological, and I’m ready for it to end. I have to start my life and stop living in this state of liminality.