Some (or most) of you may be familiar with the Kubler-Ross model of grief, abbreviated DABDA for the stages of Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. While this model was intended to describe the stages that terminally ill people go through as they face death, it has also been applied to other grief contexts. I’m beginning to think that the grief process for my dying career is in full swing, and I’m well into the Anger stage.

This morning, I was running some copies before my 8 AM, and one of my colleagues (who will be retiring soon) walked in and just straight up asked me what was going on with my job search. It took so much restraint not to say, “Are you f*cking serious? GTFO, b*tch!” Instead, I said, “Well, I will be unemployed as of May, and we have no idea what is happening next. Neither one of us have any job prospects, and we’re pretty scared at moment.” Her response? “Well, if you have time off, you could travel and have all kinds of adventures!!”

What? With what money, exactly? We have enough savings to last around 5-6 months under optimal conditions, possibly less if we end up moving to a higher cost-of-living area. Not to mention that unforeseen circumstances could blow up our savings in far less time anywhere. And you just treat this like it’s some great big exciting adventure where we can go off to the Virgin Islands (yes, she actually suggested this) and spin our wheels while we just wait for the job offers to roll in? I just walked out. Go be clueless somewhere else.

In other news, it appears that a faculty member in another department on campus has been pissing in his/her (ok, it’s almost definitely a he) office wastebasket. On a regular basis, no less. What on earth is wrong with people? This person is obviously disgusting and mentally unstable, but by God he has a tenured/tenure-track job. Meanwhile, I’m looking up information on unemployment assistance. I relieve myself in the appropriate receptacle, and I even wash my hands! I seriously do not understand any of this…

The entire academic job market can go f*ck itself with a rusty grapefruit spoon. I am just so done.