Today, I started taking meaningful steps toward being a former academic. I’d kept a massive filebox of articles that I’d held on to for when I taught grad-level seminars in my career. Obviously, there’s no need to keep them, so to the recycling bin they went. I will also start putting my academic books on Amazon to sell soon. A little extra money couldn’t hurt!

The spouse is applying for jobs in a few desirable locales, so I am hitting pause on my job search while his plays out. It is kind of a relief, to be honest. 148 applications later, I am very, very tired. The spouse has sacrificed his career and happiness chasing a dream of mine that was never meant to be. He deserves to have some control now that I have shown that I am incapable of getting a tenure-track job. I feel so guilty sometimes for putting him through all of this.

In other news, I finally got my Mirena out after 5.5 years. The removal hurt like a bitch for all of 2 seconds, and then I went back to normal. I had been having some side effects from it (pain, abdominal fullness, constantly having to pee), so I doubt that I will get another one. I may try being on pills for a while and see how that goes. As long as I don’t get knocked up, I am happy to do whatever I need to do. It’s just about the last thing we need right now.

The scores from the FSOT come out this week, and I am desperate for some good news. It is of course one of many steps in the process, but crossing the first hurdle would be a welcome relief.