In no particular order

  • What on earth is it with search committees this year asking for full-on letters of recommendation at the preliminary stages? For serious? Why do these people insist on wasting the time of many academics everywhere with this nonsense? Wouldn’t a phone call/e-mail to the prospective candidate’s references yield more useful information? Whatever HR/Admin-bot decided to make that a regular policy deserves a good swift kick in whatever suffices for its taint.
  • You are smoking a great deal of Heisenberg’s blue stuff if you think that you’re going to get R1 caliber folks applying to your barely an R2 institution with a 4/4 teaching load and a host of institutional problems. You have some real cojones to insist in your ad that only people who got their degrees from a certain (higher) caliber of institution need apply.
  • If you ask for a statement of faith or you insist that a candidate sign a pre-employment statement affirming that you will uphold the institution’s religious mission…Hell to the no. Next!
  • In your ad, you state that you require a minimum of 5 hours a week of office hours. If you’re putting that right out there, God only knows what you’re not telling us.
  • The Byzantine online application systems need to die, with sincere apologies to the Byzantines. Some references may prefer to keep their letters confidential, but if you insist that the applicant upload them, that can’t happen.
  • People, it’s 2012. I don’t take you seriously if you still insist on hard copies.

All this, and I won’t even begin to touch the Stale Ph.D. controversy. I have one year left, by that measure, but I was going to leave anyway. Screw you guys, I’m going home.