With 16 hours until I depart, I’ve only actually cried once and nearly cried maybe 2 or 3 times. This, my friends, is progress. I’ll give the final tally once I’ve actually left. Sigh.
To be honest, I can’t muster the necessary enthusiasm to go back. I know that I was ecstatic to get the job, and believe you me, I am so very grateful to have it. That said, now that I know that there is no potential for it to convert to t-t, I’m less inclined to break my back in service of impressing them. I’ll still do my job and do it well, but gone are the 10-hour days in the office, going the extra mile, etc. I’ll show up for departmental meetings, teach my classes, and check my e-mail. That’s it. I’m going to look out for #1 and do whatever I can to get a job. It would be great to get at least one more additional pub out this year, and maybe do some other things to put me in a position to succeed long-term.
I’ve decided that I may be skipping out on Huge National Conference this year, given that I didn’t get a paper accepted and it costs an arm and a leg just to get there. I got asked to chair a session, but BFD. Those chuckleheads didn’t see fit to accept my paper (despite good reviews), so why exactly should I spend hundreds of my own dollars for their benefit? There’s an interesting conference happening in April much closer to home that may be less expensive and a surer prospect for acceptance that I will submit to. If I really loved HNC, I’d totally sacrifice to go, but I hold it as an example of all that is wrong with academia. Hence, I’m keeping my money. I’m sure those of you in other disciplines feel similarly about your own flagship professional organizations.