A student somehow totally forgot to turn in the final project paper. How one does that, I’ll never understand. However, it gets better.

A while after the deadline I receive an e-mail begging for me to accept it late, all the while acknowledging that I said in the syllabus “No late projects accepted for any reason.” I confirmed the student’s suspicions and informed hir that that I would not accept it.

I grade on a points accumulated model, rather than some weighted average or other system. This paper really only counts for 10% of the grade, which is a letter grade, but much less than any other project/exam/paper I’ve ever had to do as a student.

The student then responds: “I respect your decision. I’m sure I’ll regret this mistake for many years to come as my GPA will most definitely suffer from it.”


I exercised the utmost of restraint by not responding, “If you listen carefully, you’ll hear the world’s tiniest violin playing ‘My Heart Bleeds Peanut Butter For You.’ ”