When I first heard Local Natives’ “Airplanes,” I thought it was the best song I’d heard in a while.  Then I learned what it was about, and now it just makes me so incredibly sad.  Still, it’s a beautiful song, and the whole album (Gorilla Manor) is fantastic.

To be honest, my life in general is making me sad right now.  I’m trying valiantly to keep calm and carry on, as they say, but there are times I find myself slipping into bitterness.  How could I not?  I have a Ph.D. from a decent school, I’ve won a few awards, been published, and have decent teaching experience; yet my only firm prospect right now is a 1-year VAP at a so-so school in a somewhat undesirable location. (Even that’s not a sure thing.)  This after sending out nearly 100 applications over the course of 16 months, 2 grueling (and unsuccessful) campus interviews, and a conference interview.  I know there are many people in similar situations right now, and it just seems wrong.  As much as I believe in following your dreams, at a certain point, I’m going to have to call it quits.  I don’t know what that looks like, but if it comes to that I’ll figure things out.

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