Last night, Spouse and I spent about 5 hours revamping my research statement.  It was one of the few times in my life that I’ve felt like having a nervous breakdown.  The stakes are so much higher this year, and there is a lot more to talk about.  By 10:20, I could barely speak in complete sentences.  Nevertheless, the damn thing is done and it sparkles like a diamond.

After completing it, I got reflective (and perhaps a tad weepy and hysterical).  I’m trying to describe everything I have done, am doing, and will do in roughly 2 pages.  So intimidating.  Somehow the thought of trying to sell myself to a committee of strangers just makes me feel weird, but it’s absolutely critical to my future success.  I also realized that I’ve been wanting to invest as little as possible in this year’s job search (emotionally and otherwise), so that if the worst case scenario comes about again, it won’t hurt as bad.  This is obviously not the approach I should take, but now that I recognize it, I can face my job search with confidence and courage.  I’m going to give it my all, and deal with whatever comes my way.

First apps will go out next week.  In the meantime, I have a ton of work to do on my class, a book chapter proposal to finish (squee!), and a family reunion to attend.  After the first of October, I feel like my life will become slightly more manageable.  Something tells me that even then, I will have more than enough to occupy my time.

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