So, I’ve more or less committed to staying at my university next year to teach a few graduate-level research classes in my department. The pay isn’t great, but the workload shouldn’t be too insane, and it gives me plenty of opportunity to write and get some research done both independently and with my advisor. The department chair even said he would hook me up with some conference travel funding, when I asked. It’s a good opportunity, and it gives me some new experiences to shore up my job search arsenal for next year. (Ugh, yes, I’m going to be on the market two years in a row, for fuck’s sake!)
To be honest, I’m OK with this. I would not have been at all fine a week ago, but at this point, I think that it’s best for me and for my marriage to be here and productive than elsewhere and possibly not productive. If I get a really awesome tenure-track offer between now and, say, July, then I may change my plans, but as it stands now, I’m staying.
Also, I’ve withdrawn all outstanding post-doc and VAP/adjunct applications, since no way in hell am I going to move away from Spouse when I can essentially do the same sort of thing here. There is something so invigorating about e-mailing the heads of search committees to withdraw my applications. For the first time in quite a while, I feel somewhat in control of my job search process. In some ways I’m saying, “Eh, I didn’t want your shitty old post-doc/VAP position anyways!” I’m conveniently forgetting that they probably had no interest in me, either. Funny what we attend to in service of maintaining our pride.
All I have to say is I am ever so happy to know that I will not be spending next year bored, unproductive, and depressed. This isn’t really what I had in mind, but life has a way of thumbing its nose at you when you fool yourself into thinking you can see the future. I’m also incredibly lucky to have such supportive people around me who really do want to see me do well.