Last year, my university implemented a bus system, presumably to cut down on car traffic and to make it a pedestrian friendly campus. While frat boys are still driving their Yukons to class (only to sleep during a lecture) and people are still getting run over, the system does seem to cut back on traffic somewhat. Plus, it’s nice to catch a bus to the other side of campus rather than trying to find parking yet again for the day. All of these buses have a marquee at the top of the windshield that tells you which route the bus runs (“CRIMSON” or “GOLD 1” or some such). Lately, the bus marquees have been alternating the route name with “HAVE A NICE DAY.” It’s actually kind of cute.

Maybe it’s because of my advancing age, but I find myself more and more asking other people (in my head, of course), “What the hell were you thinking when you put that on?” Case in point: Ugg boots with shorts. Who told people that was attractive? If it’s cold, you wear boots. If it’s hot, you wear shorts. Wearing them together doesn’t make any damn sense! Also of questionable taste is the very short shorts preferred by male business majors. Um, no. Please, no. I don’t want there to be even a chance that I’ll catch a peek of your junk when you sit outside on the benches with your legs all spread out. Eww. I’m also quite unhappy about the fact that skinny jeans seem to be coming back into fashion. Boys, you don’t look good in them, and girls, you don’t, either. Well, unless you’re about 5’7″ or taller, in which case I am going to hate you anyways, because you don’t have to climb shelves at the grocery store to reach the pumpkin pie filling on the top shelf. Where was I? Oh, right, fashion.

Not that I can say much about people’s appearances this week. I’ve felt rather like a pile of dog shit on Hell’s doorstep this week, and I’m really looking the part. To quote one of my students, “Oh, you look horrible!” Thanks. I had circles under my eyes, a broken out face, no makeup, flat hair, and a wrinkly shirt on. Not to mention my eyes had a feverish glaze over them and I’m sure I had absolutely no color in my face. I’m hyped up on cold medicine, tired, achy, congested, and when I blow my nose, stuff comes out of my eyes. (I’m sure you didn’t know that was anatomically possible, amirite?) Maybe my trip to the salon this afternoon to get my nappy hair cut will make me feel better. $10 says I will fall asleep at least once in the chair.

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