My prospectus is due Wednesday, and I’ve been hard at work for weeks researching, thinking, and writing. I know what I want to say, but I sometimes struggle to figure out structure and syntax. Y’know, the little things. After receiving the results from my comp exams (pass with no revisions!), I’m a little insecure about my writing and abilities. Hopefully this wears off soon and I can get down to business. It seems like I should feel better about myself, given the positive outcome, but I feel like I still have a long way to go towards being a good academic writer. Maybe a little talk with my adviser will help.
In the meantime, I’m still pretty stressed out, and my skin is showing the effects. I look like I’m running for Miss Meth Princess of Wasilla. Last Thursday I had a glycolic peel, so this will help in the long run, but it makes my face look like shit in the short term. I usually wear little to no makeup, but over the past few days I’ve been caking on the foundation to cover the open sores on my nose and chin. Lovely.
Work is still somewhat kicking my ass. I’m beginning to see the futility in giving it my all, so I’ve slid into a mentality of “just enough.” As much as I despise mediocrity, I am so much happier now. In the future, I’ll just try less! (At least less of my talent and effort will be wasted.) I’ve really been enjoying my lab gig since we got a 2nd person to cover the remaining 10 hours that I gave up. She’s older (nearly my mom’s age), but really nice and friendly. It makes the hours pass so much quicker.
I wish I could just sit around and do nothing but work on my dissertation. Maybe applying for and winning a dissertation fellowship will make this happen. (Note to self: Appy for dissertation fellowships, slacker!) For now, I’m just focused on my prospectus and data collection. Chaos will ensue in T minus 13 days. I will be none too happy to see the calendar roll over to November 5th. Hopefully this will mark not only the end of data collection, but the prospect of an Obama administration. At any rate, I’m hoping for a good sample that will help me write a good dissertation.