Yesterday I took the most dreaded (and most despicable) HD 501 exam. The damn thing counted for 1/3 of my final grade on its own. Yeah. I did my best to look over my notes and try to commit the most important things to memory. There were 20 multiple choice questions, 10 short answer, and 4 essay questions, and it took me nearly 2 hours to complete. I still have a poster presentation and a research proposal due in that class, not to mention that I was also required to write weekly reaction papers, take a midterm exam, and submit an abstract of my proposal. That class was way too much busy work. I liked the prof as a person but I couldn’t stand the class. I’m just glad it’s (almost) over.

I was having a Google chat discussion w/ Scott about what I have left to do and he said, “You’re amazing. I don’t know how you do it.” It really made my day. I’m beginning to believe that I’m actually good at what I do and that I know what I’m doing. I had what some call Imposter Syndrome for awhile, and it was not pleasant. I’m just now (after a total of 6 semesters in grad school) beginning to feel like maybe I know something and that I’m doing something right. Whoever thinks that leaving the corporate world to go to grad school is the easy way out is totally kidding him/herself. I’m enjoying myself now, but it’s been an uphill battle and it’s definitely not for everyone. That said, I wouldn’t trade any of this for any amount of money.

Between today and 6PM on December 12th I have to:

  • Write a 10 page research proposal for my HD 501 class
  • Give a poster presentation based on my proposal to my HD class
  • Write a brief research proposal for my BEP 641 class
  • Finish my portfolio for my BEP 641 class (basically a journal of my insights from all the articles we’ve read)
  • Give a presentation on articles for my BEP 641 class

But really, I’m not worried. We’re going to New Orleans this weekend to attend the wedding of two of our friends, and Scott’s kindly offered to drive so that I can get some reading/writing done. That’s about 10 hours worth of work right there I could do, and the following weekend I’m blissfully un-busy, so I can get lots of work done then, too. It works this way every semester: I initially panic at the thought of all I have to get done, but then once I get cracking, I realize it’s really nothing to be worried about.

I’m accompanying my friend Robin today to a doctor’s appointment to check her baby’s heartbeat. She’s about 5 months along and recently found out that it’s a girl! The baby is due sometime in April, and it should be exciting. I’ve had so many pregnant friends over the past few years. Maybe I’m some sort of fertility charm or something, lol. Scott and I have really been waffling lately on whether we ever want to have kids at all. It’s such a hard decision, even if it’s something we don’t have to decide right now. I told him that if we didn’t have a child by the time I was 35 (he’d be 45) that I didn’t want any at all. There’s the slight risks involved, plus he’d be 63 (!!!) when the hypothetical kid graduated from high school. There are so many compelling arguments either way, and there’s really no guarantee that I’d even be able to actually have kids (or him, for that matter). We could adopt, but that would defeat our “kids are so expensive” argument. I’m not even sure why I’m thinking about it now, so enough about that…

And I’m off to grab my lunch and microwave it before CGS gets over to the microwave.