I have an interview in an hour and a half for a qual lab position. I don’t think I’ll be getting a teaching assistantship position for next year, and that’s totally fine by me. If I work in the qual lab I’ll be part time and can basically set my own schedule to a certain extent. I’m actually kind of nervous, even though I’ve already had 2 people putting in a good word for me. I really don’t want to fuck this up. I need funding, and I need a new job. My position will be “killed” as of August, so I have to have something to do. Scott is completely against the idea of me just not working, and understandably.

Speaking of, he is driving me nuts with his money paranoia. No one is more money conscious than I am, but I think I have met my match here. I realize that in a few weeks here, we’re going to be dropping money like crazy making final payments and whatnot, but it’s really getting to me. I feel guilty even doing something like buying food for myself. Then there was the whole car fiasco. A few months ago he said, “We should buy you a new car after the wedding.” I was really happy, because my car is on the decline. The A/C is totally gone and it has minor mechanical issues, but it’s still “safe.” However, it’s not really a car you want to take out of town. Then he started freaking out about the cost of buying a new car, insuring it, etc. I said, “Fine, I don’t need a new car.” He kept waffling and it drove me nuts. Yes or no, dammit! Then he tossed out the idea of a Vespa. We know how that turned out. Then he went back to the idea of a new car. I finally said that he needed to stop dangling this in front of me if all he was going to do is waffle and freak out about money. Don’t even get me started on his current concern w/ “how much it will cost to make sure I have health/vision/dental insurance.” Please. Don’t constantly blabber on about how worried you are, but then qualify your statements with “Oh, but I know you need insurance.” Yeah, I do, so quit it already! There are just some things in life you can’t get away with not having, and insurance is one of them.

It’s not my fault he insisted on hiring a band (rather than just DJ’ing the reception on our iPod/iTunes). It’s not my fault he suddenly got the urge to invite people he hasn’t even talked to in like 5 years. It’s not my fault he’s wanting to plan a $50/head rehearsal dinner. It’s not my fault he wanted to extend the reception for another hour (and keep the bar open). Yet these all become my problem. We’re talking a difference of over $2000 here, and none of these were my idea.

I’m really frustrated right now.

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