That someone is me. Last night was totally, utterly, completely miserable. I talked to Scott a couple times on the phone, which as helpful as it may seem, actually only served to make me feel worse because it was a tangible reminder that he’s not around. I was helping a friend paint, so I was quasi-distracted, as was he and our conversation wasn’t really substantial at all. I also told him that I 1) Had left his lights on and needed a jump at my lunch hour so that I could get home to attend to Brubeck and 2) I’m currently $33.00 in the hole. Freaking A&S took waaaay too long to deposit the check I wrote as an alumni contribution and I had around $15 in my account before that, which would have been ok since I’d only have to survive for a couple days on that. Now I have nothing. Right after I told him that he starts blathering on about “OMG, I’ve just burned through about $50 today going out to eat and buying stuff and going to get a beer.” I wanted to throw up from his total insensitivity. I mean, what the f*ck? I have no freaking money and here he is griping about spending a little bit of money irresponsibly. He’s not completely out of money. I won’t even see money again until Monday, and we really don’t have much of anything in the house, foodwise. I am broke, and I am scared. After I got off the phone with him I decided it was time to head home so that I could get a decent night’s sleep because I had to be at work this morning. Utz offered to lend me some money and it was all I could do not to cry. I told him that I would be fine, which was completely a lie, but what do you do? I cried the entire way home. I got home, popped in Season Six of King of the Hill and tried to go to sleep. I was a little freaked out sleeping in the house all by myself and with the thunder and lightening, I didn’t really get any sleep. Around 3:30 I let Brubeck up in the bed with me and I slept pretty well until around 6:45, when my alarm went off.

I am still really pissed off. I’m also kind of cranky since I didn’t get but about 5 hours of sleep last night, which will make anyone a little off. One solution I came up with is to drop by the consignment shop and pick up my check from some clothes that I consigned there, live off the change in our change cup and transfer one of my prescriptions to Publix pharmacy so that I can take advantage of a “free $25 gift card” offer that I got in the mail. 25 bucks will buy me more than enough food to get through until Monday. Unfortunately I may have to thaw out my credit card (currently in a block of ice in a Ziploc bag) to do so, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

I wish I could say why I deserve this, but I can’t think of a reason.

Advertisements