I’m always totally drained after my Wednesday night class. Is it
because it’s such dense material? Or is it just because I know I have
to get up early Thursday (the only morning I have to be up before, say,
10). Since I teach at Mercedes on Thursday mornings from 9-11, and that
tends to be energizing, but it’s just the whole process of getting up
and going that is sooo hard. I’m
actually really lucky because generally my day doesn’t officially start
until, at the earliest, 3 PM. I always do work in the mornings
and early afternoons, but it’s not scheduled and it can be put off
until whenever. The downside of this is that I always have stuff
that has to (at some point) be done. I have a shitload of
transcriptions to do, one interview for my assistantship duties, one
interview for a class, an outline for a project, lots of reading, stats
homework, etc. I think my biggest challenge won’t be finding the
time to do it, but of prioritizing it and getting it all done. I
have the time, but all of it lumped together just seems so
overwhelming. There aren’t a whole lot of set-in-stone deadlines, and
that sort of freaks me out. I’m by no means a stickler for
structure (in fact, I don’t like being told what to do when) but it all
seems so abstract right now. Not to mention a lot of my reading
has been fucking around with my head. I feel like I have to
question everything and at times it’s not so comfy. I know this
will develop me as a person, but it’s not a fun process at all.
With everything I do I think, “Am I doing this because I want to or is
it because I’ve been ‘programmed’ by society/patriarchy to do
this?” Damn. When all this is over, I will have become a slightly
better version of myself.
I seriously need to get my ass back in the gym. I’ve been sick
for a couple weeks, but now that I’m getting over it, I need to get
back in the habit. Hauling up three flights of stairs to class a
few times a week is becoming hard again, and that’s not cool. I
need to get on the elliptical for half an hour 3 or 4 times a week and
I need to get back to yoga at least twice a week, if not more.
I’ve lost a few pounds, but it’s all been sickness-induced
starvation. My appetite went to hell and I’ve yet to get it back.
All I ate today was a bowl of veggie soup, two veggie tacos and a
cookie. And I’m fine. That can’t be even close to providing
enough nutrients and stuff.
I think I’m going to go to bed before I discover something else fascinating to do and stay up until 1 AM.