After a lot of thinking, I’ve decided to make some changes.  My
life is about to change a great deal when I start back to school in
August, and I feel like I am in a better place than I was, say, a year
ago.  I kept putting off things I wanted to do for “when I get
older” or “when I get some free time.”  And now that I am a little
older and I’m just swimming in free time (yes, it sucks, I know!) I
still don’t find myself doing things I really want to do.  I’ve
made small steps, like learning to play bridge and fiddling w/ my iPod
more, but there are more things I could/should be doing. I want to get
more into the music I like and find more music that I could like.
I haven’t bought a new CD in months.  Months!  And I used to
freaking study music.  I
think that might be the issue.  I got to the point where something
fun and awesome like music became just another academic pursuit, and
the thought of buying a CD seemed like a waste of time/money.  I
bought a couple new DVDs last month, but there are definitely more I’d
like to buy.  Instead of spending my money on things I don’t
really want nor need, I should prioritize, especially since my budget
is really limited.  Once I move in with Scott and now that my
car’s paid off, I’ll be saving a huge chunk of change every month and I
may have more flexibility in how I spend my resources. I want to only
spend my money on something I know I’ll enjoy, rather than just
spending for its own sake.  I learned that nasty little habit from
my mom, who still seems to have a bit of a compulsive spending
habit.

I also want to work on losing some weight and shaping up.  I
really am not satisfied with my body and I know I have a few years
until my metabolism begins waging war against moi.
I lost about 10 lbs. after becoming a vegetarian (a move I heartily
endorse) but I have some problem areas that need a lot of work.
Topping the list…upper arms (I’m just a few pounds short of bat
wings), inner thighs (who doesn’t
hate theirs?), and stomach. My abs are really not bad at all, but I
want to be really cut.  I saw some old pictures of me when I was
really skinny (like 15 lbs slimmer than I am now) and I really liked
it.  It may be unrealistic, perhaps even unhealthy, but I’d like
to aim for that again.  Maybe losing just 10 lbs would be a huge
improvement.  I’m just scared of the possibility of stretch marks,
since I already seem to have more than my fair share of them.  If
I lose weight, I’ve got to do it very gradually and resist the urge to
go all out and drop 10 lbs in two weeks (it’s been done a time or two,
trust me).

I want to feel better.  Really.

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