I will say, for the record, that I have never wanted to be bored.
I’ve never said, “Oh, I just wish I had absolutely nothing to
do!”  I know lots of people would love to be in my position, but
it is absolutely no freakin’ fun.  I can’t even get a job waiting
tables.  Geeez this town is crappy! I’ve just gotta bide my time
until mid-August and then I’ll be overwhelmed, but at least I’ll be
doing something.  I sent in my transcripts and Statement of
Purpose yesterday (muchos gracias to those who read/reviewed it!) and
I’m taking the GRE in less than a week.  But I’m not sure about my
letters of recommendation.  I asked a certain musicology professor
to write one, since the other two are out of the
country (and one of them doesn’t like me all too well), but he has
decided he isn’t going to write one.  Now he didn’t have the
professional courtesy (or the balls) to tell me this directly. No, he
was whining to a friend of his about it (who happens to be one of my
friends as well).  Of course, this friend told me, and it boils
down to that he thinks he doesn’t know me well enough to write me a
rec.  Riiiight.  One of my other recs had me for only one
class but lord knows he wrote me a fine letter.  It’s not even a
letter, really, but a form asking them to rate me on different things
(writing ability and things like that).  I just think he has
issues.  I know he’s leaving in a matter of weeks for a new job,
but he really needn’t be that way.  It’s my freaking career he’s
screwing around with and I am NOT happy with him right now.  It
certainly wouldn’t hurt him to take 10 minutes to do it.

My mom called the other day to “check on me” (ha, ha) and wants me to
come stay with her for a couple days.  As much as I absolutely
don’t want to, I will.  I’ve definitely got to talk to her about
some things, and maybe I can get on her good side so she’ll stop
nagging me once and for all.  Besides, it’s not like I’m doing
anything else.  It’s looking like Scott and I won’t be able to
take a vacation like we planned because he’s got lots of work to take
care of.  It kind of sucks, but at the same time, I’d rather take
a vacation when things are cheaper, the weather’s cooler, and I feel
like I’ve earned a vacation.
Right now my life is one big vacation, and all that traveling would
accomplish is doing the same things I’ve been doing but in a different
location.  I really want to go somewhere cool like Gatlinburg
(never been) or maybe the beach (during the off-season). We are trying
to get to the Voodoo Music Festival in New Orleans sometime in October,
and I think that would be an awesome trip.  I need to get my class
schedule squared away so we can start planning something to do.  I
also  need to figure out how the holidays will pan out this
year.  I will probably end up spending Christmas elsewhere, which
might piss my mom off, but I spend Thanksgiving with her, I think
she’ll be ok. I just hate that I might not spend Christmas with my
dad.  He and my sister are going to Arizona, and I just don’t have
the $$$ to get there.  Scott has never spent Christmas away from
his family (a pretty great accomplishment for someone his age) and I
have.  To me, it just isn’t a big deal where I go now that my
parents have split.  Unfortunately, my mom regards it as a big
deal if I’m not around.  I hate having to make decisions like
this.  Either way I go, I feel bad about what I’m doing.  I
think the best solution is just to do what I feel best about, because
in my case, any decision isn’t a great decision.

Off to go eat breakfast.  Even if it’s almost lunch.

Advertisements