One week to go! October 29, 2008

In one week, 2 hours, and 17 minutes, I’ll shut down my survey for good. I’m still getting tons of requests every day, and the responses are rolling in pretty steadily. So far, I have a little more than 1/3 of what I need for everything to work. There are a number of people who have been sent links but haven’t completed the survey, and no doubt (ok, maybe some) there are a good number of people who intend on participating but just haven’t e-mailed me yet. In my conversation w/ my adviser today, I broached the subject of “what if I only get x participants?” (where x<300), and he said that anything between about 250 and 300 would still be OK. I know I can get 250 good responses, but I’m beginning to wonder if 300+ is a bit of a stretch.

Ooooh…a request for a link!

I won’t give up until the clock strikes midnight on Election Night. Much like the election itself, it may just be too early to predict.

The injection I got to address OHW is kicking my ass. I’m tired, forgetful (I literally can’t remember anything), weak, and paradoxically, in more pain than I was before. On my drive home this afternoon, I was just doubled over in pain. I couldn’t wait to get home and change into loose comfortable clothes because the pressure on my stomach was overwhelming. This needs to stop, like, yesterday. I used to be so active with biking, running, weight lifting, yoga, etc., but now I can barely walk from my car to the office (about a quarter mile) without feeling immense pain and fatigue. It’s really pretty pathetic.

Eat lead, slacker! October 27, 2008

I guess it’s a good thing that I’m spending more time actually working and less time blogging. Still, it’s easy to start justifying not blogging for awhile, and I do think I’d miss it.

I’ve been receiving e-mails pretty steadily since launching my survey nearly a week ago. I’ll reach the halfway point sometime tomorrow, but I’ve only received about 1/3 of what I’m aiming for. I’m not nervous yet, but hopefully the three classes I talk to this week (one has 100+ people) will yield a few more participants. I also know I’ve sent out quite a few links to people who haven’t completed the survey yet, and I’m still getting e-mails from people who I talked to nearly a month ago. Rather than worry, I’m going to be optimistic. (OMG, speaking of optimism, have you seen this commercial ? CUTE!) Optimism may not get me more participants, but it will keep me sane.

On another note, I feel like I have something to say about the election. I’ve tried not to be political here. However, one thing that’s been on my mind is the McCain campaign’s accusations that Obama is a socialist. Um…OK. First, from my personal perspective, I really don’t see a problem with that. However, I believe in the European models of healthcare, public services, and education, so take that for what you will. I don’t mind paying taxes if it means that society ultimately benefits from it, and I don’t mind planting a few trees I’ll never sit under.

Second, Obama is a lot of things, but he’s hardly a socialist. Most Americans wouldn’t know socialism if it ran up and hit them over the head. Obama’s not pushing a true universal healthcare policy, and he’s said many times that he doesn’t think that government exists solely to solve people’s problems. While no doubt the government would play a larger role in society according to his plan, it would be likely be only slightly larger. Our government is already pretty huge anyways with all of this Patriot Act/Homeland Security crap.

Third, last I checked, McCain voted in favor of the bailout. $700 billion, possibly more, of my money, your money, and everyone else’s money given to banks (private entities) because of their mistakes. It’s not OK to pay for healthcare for the down-and-out because that’s socialist, but it’s OK to prop up companies when they’re down and out, because that’s capitalism? Just sayin’.

Finally, in an interview with Joe Biden, some dingbat in Florida (I won’t dignify her by calling her a journalist) quoted Marx and made the comparison to Obama’s remarks on spreading the wealth. The exact quote was, “From each, according to his ability. To each, according to his need.” Ok, fair enough. Try this one on: “For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required” Is it Marx? Engels?

Try the Bible. (Luke 12:48, for the curious.)

Just sayin’.

Proof that I swear way, way too much October 22, 2008

I was responding to an e-mail from a student who said he was interested in taking my survey. This student’s name was Adam.

I began to type my response to send him a link, and I began, “Adamn.”

I then realized what I had typed. Glad I read it over before I sent it!

The Genesis of Freckles October 21, 2008

1)In the beginning, Freckles created a survey
2)And the survey was without form, a void on the intertubes; and darkness was upon the face of Freckles, and then acne moved across the surface of her face.
3)And then her advisor said, “Let there be a prospectus,” and thus, it was.
4) And her advisor saw the prospectus, that it needed editing; and he has yet to return it to her.
5) And then Freckles called upon classes, night and day, 5 classes on the first day.
6)And Freckles said, Let there be many participants in my study, and let it serve as extra credit.
7) And Freckles recruited participants, and sent out e-mails with links to her survey: and it was so.
8 ) And she called the process Torture. And the evening and the morning were really one in the same, on most days.
9) And Freckles said, Let all the coffee under the heaven be gathered together unto my travel mug and let the insomnia appear: and it was so.
10)And Freckles called the coffee Breakfast; and the gathering together of the responses Data: and saw that it was good.
11) And Freckles said, Let the internet bring forth responses, the distracted undergrads, and the instructors yielding extra credit oh-so-kind, upon the students: and it was so.

No rest for the weary October 18, 2008

My whirlwind research recruitment week is officially over. In the end, I talked to 14 classes and provided info to another 4 or 5 online sections. Next week I’ll talk to three more classes, one of which has around 120 students in it. The e-mails are slowly starting to trickle in, which is encouraging. I even have a few of my students taking the survey, which is remarkable considering they’re doing this out of the goodness of their own hearts and not for extra credit. I’m guessing that at this pace, I’ll get my required number of participants, but of course I’m going to be a nervous wreck until I see at least 300 completed responses on the site. This weekend will be spent cleaning up the surveys and getting ready to e-mail all of the people who have already e-mailed me. I will likely stay up really late Sunday night so that when the clock strikes 12 AM, I can send out all my e-mails and then sleep knowing that it’s all taken care of. It would be absolute torture for me to try to sleep knowing I could be up sending e-mails.

There was also a bit of drama this week when my adviser send IRB an e-mail asking them about extending a waiver to 18 year old participants. Apparently, they have to review our protocol again in order to approve it. Why, you ask? Aren’t 18 year olds adults? Well, in the great state of Alabama, the age of consent is 19. That means you need to be 19 to get a credit card, a lease, enter into a contract, or for my purposes, consent to research. An 18 year old may “agree” to participate in research, but it’s not legally defined as “consent.” Whatever. There are different procedures I have to go through in order to include 18 year olds in my research, and since I need every participant I can get, I’m doing it. Do remember, though, that you can get married here at the ripe old age of 14 (so long as you have parental permission). Hence my annoyance and frustration.

I also had to pay another visit to my doctor this week to address the Ongoing Health Weirdness (henceforth referred to as OHW). I was given an injection and then some drugs to offset some of the more severe side effects of this injection. I’ll be in a sucky situation for the next couple of weeks because my pain won’t get any better (it may, I read, actually get worse), but in the meantime I’m experiencing an array of unpleasant side effects, the least of which are headaches, stomach upset, and utter exhaustion. This really could not have come at a worse time. That’s life, I suppose. The things you least want to happen occur when you least want them to.

Thus freaketh Frecklesuthra October 14, 2008

(The Goodyear blimp was flying over the university last week!)

This week, I have to bring my A game every single day, because I’m working on recruiting what will hopefully equal a sample of 400-500 people. It’s like being a politician, except I literally have to go to every class and talk to them directly (because there are no tossup classes). I had to talk to five classes today (in addition to going to work, going to class, and meeting with one of my groups for a project). Tomorrow I talk to a class at 8, 11, and 6:30, go to work, and go out to the school (after a week off). In all, I will have in some shape or form talked to something like 10 classes, and then I’ll have a few more to talk to next week as well. It’s a pain, but if this is what it takes to get my sample, I will do it. It’s so hard to comprehend that all the work and thinking I’ve been doing over the past couple of months will be coming to fruition starting next week. Very exciting.

Also exciting was finding out that I actually did a very good job on my comps. I knew I’d worked hard and given it my very best, but I wasn’t sure how to interpret my scores, which led me to fear that maybe I wasn’t cut out for this. Did I really know this wasn’t true? Of course. This didn’t stop my insecurity from popping in for a little visit. Now that I know that my best was indeed good enough, I feel like I can truly move on to the bigger and better things.

I feel so bad that I’ve been neglecting my workouts lately. I did some yoga yesterday and I’ve been for two long dog walks over the past two days, but compared to what I used to do (running, elliptical, weight lifting, swimming), I’m pretty pathetic these days. I’m thinking once my data collection is over and I’m not taking a class that I can perhaps devote more time to workouts. For now I’ll stick to walking the dog and a little 20 minute yoga in my office. My appetite has slightly declined, so I’m pretty much in a state of equilibrium.

Late TYT: Fall Break edition October 12, 2008

I’m glad that I’m not this much of a slacker in my academic life. Blogging is fun, but I firmly believe it shouldn’t get in the way of real life (what would you have to blog about if you did?) so I’ve been up to other things. Wednesday and Friday were spent painting the den, which now looks a lot better than it did. I feel good about crossing that off the “stuff we need to do to the house” list, and it came in right under budget, too!

So I’m thankful for…

1) My Granny. She turned 96 on Thursday, and I went up to visit her as a surprise. Boy, was she surprised! I felt so good about how happy she was, and yet sad that I don’t go see her more. She’s a remarkably strong person who has lived through so much difficulty, yet despite it all she embodies the kind of gratitude that we all should try to have more of. Her sense of humor and personality are firmly intact, even as her hearing, sight, and mobility have decreased over the past few years. Talking to her is always so eye-opening. Few people my age have grandparents still alive, much less great-grandparents, and I realize how lucky we are to still have her.

2) Sleepytime tea. One cup of this plus my meditation podcast and I am out like a light at bedtime. I love herb teas in general, but Sleepytime really does its job! All my life, I’ve had trouble getting asleep, and sometimes staying asleep. I’ve resisted drugs because I don’t think they’re healthy, so I need something that works that won’t harm my body long term.

3) DVR/TiVo. I’m not much of a TV person at all, and there have been phases in my life where I just didn’t watch any at all. Since getting a DVR, I’ve found watching TV to be a much more enjoyable experience. I watch only what I want, I don’t have to watch any commercials, and I don’t feel compelled to stay home to watch a show/movie when I can just record it for later. In some ways, I feel like I watch less TV than average, but it’s of higher quality than before. Anything I can do to reduce the amount of time I waste on things like watching TV is a good investment in my book.

A quick note October 9, 2008

The person hosting my blog template seems to have a bit of trouble with his/her host, and if you read my blog at the site rather than on an RSS feed, you probably noticed that there are all these “Bandwidth exceeded” notices all over the page.
I’m out of pocket for today, but I’ll be fixing it sometime tonight or tomorrow.

First draft of my prospectus turned in yesterday morning. I feel pretty good, but I know I’ll have a lot of work to do over the next month or so. T-minus 11 days until data collection begins. Next week I’m talking to a bunch of different classes in hopes that they will take the survey. I have access to something like 12 sections of classes in another department, and I’m hoping to get at least 150-200 participants form there. If I can get another 150 or so from my home department and another 50 from various other sources, I’ll be right where I need to be. Fingers crossed!!

I say it’s time for a prospectus now it’s prospectus time October 7, 2008

My prospectus is due Wednesday, and I’ve been hard at work for weeks researching, thinking, and writing. I know what I want to say, but I sometimes struggle to figure out structure and syntax. Y’know, the little things. After receiving the results from my comp exams (pass with no revisions!), I’m a little insecure about my writing and abilities. Hopefully this wears off soon and I can get down to business. It seems like I should feel better about myself, given the positive outcome, but I feel like I still have a long way to go towards being a good academic writer. Maybe a little talk with my adviser will help.

In the meantime, I’m still pretty stressed out, and my skin is showing the effects. I look like I’m running for Miss Meth Princess of Wasilla. Last Thursday I had a glycolic peel, so this will help in the long run, but it makes my face look like shit in the short term. I usually wear little to no makeup, but over the past few days I’ve been caking on the foundation to cover the open sores on my nose and chin. Lovely.

Work is still somewhat kicking my ass. I’m beginning to see the futility in giving it my all, so I’ve slid into a mentality of “just enough.” As much as I despise mediocrity, I am so much happier now. In the future, I’ll just try less! (At least less of my talent and effort will be wasted.) I’ve really been enjoying my lab gig since we got a 2nd person to cover the remaining 10 hours that I gave up. She’s older (nearly my mom’s age), but really nice and friendly. It makes the hours pass so much quicker.

I wish I could just sit around and do nothing but work on my dissertation. Maybe applying for and winning a dissertation fellowship will make this happen. (Note to self: Appy for dissertation fellowships, slacker!) For now, I’m just focused on my prospectus and data collection. Chaos will ensue in T minus 13 days. I will be none too happy to see the calendar roll over to November 5th. Hopefully this will mark not only the end of data collection, but the prospect of an Obama administration. At any rate, I’m hoping for a good sample that will help me write a good dissertation.

Thank You Thursdays (tardy edition) October 3, 2008

Ok, so yesterday was kind of busy, and I was sans Macbook for most of the day, so cut a sister some slack. …On to the business at hand.

1. Health insurance. Tens of millions of Americans have no health insurance, and just as many (if not more) are what you euphemistically call “underinsured.” (In other words, their insurance sucks and pays only for limited hospital stays. Forget preventative health, prescription drugs, etc.) I am fortunate to have insurance that covers almost anything from drugs to specialists to procedures that I could need. I’ve got some weirdness currently going on with my body, and I know that I am so lucky in that being able to go the doctor and get myself fixed up is just a given. I believe that healthcare is a right, but in our system, this is sadly not the case. If there is a scrap of justice in this world, this will change.

2. Friends in the right places. I’m working on recruiting participants for my study, and my adviser REALLY thinks I need around 400+ to make things work. At first this seemed a daunting, if not impossible, task. But with the generosity and help of a few friends in various departments around campus, it may just be possible (and…dare I say it…painless) to get my required sample.

3. My puppy dog. I grew up with dogs and cat, turtles and birds, fish and rabbits, and even a chicken, so it goes without saying that I love animals. We adopted Brubeck in December of 2005, and he has changed our life, definitely for the better. He’s got the funniest personality, a sharp mind, an agile body, a playful spirit, and a heart of gold. And he’s the handsomest freaking dog I’ve ever seen. I swear I’m not biased. Really.