The toughest part of grad school for me has been learning to overcome myself, particularly my procrastination. The thought of really doing something, getting it in writing, and taking the first steps in a project is pretty intimidating for me. I’m not sure why. If I ever want to succeed in life, I can’t be content with merely thinking of something: I really need to just hop off my duff and do it. (Easier said than done.)
Yesterday, I made strides towards my goal of not allowing myself to procrastinate by sitting down on the sofa in a coffee shop near campus and gathering more sources and forming a substantial outline for a paper. By doing that, I’ve done all of the real foundational work for the paper, and I can spend this weekend and next week writing it. By doing this, I’ll have plenty of time for writing and editing, which will mean a better product. This paper is due about 2 weeks from now. My usual course is to just ruminate and plan for a couple of weeks, but then spend a frantic and unpleasant weekend writing it, usually finishing the conclusion the day it’s due. I began to see that while I was still putting out good work, it wasn’t my best, and that I was shortchanging myself and my professors. They’d spent all these years becoming experts in their fields, and hours with me to help me along my similar journey, and I couldn’t even grant them their due respect in the form of a solid effort? It seemed wrong. I’m capable of so much more than “just good enough,” but until I do more than that, no one knows it but me (and I’m beginning to doubt that myself).
Hopefully, I’ll see the benefits of this approach and alter my work patterns. Considering I have two large things looming ahead of me (comps and the big D), this would be the perfect time for a little self-improvement.
