Crazy week July 31, 2007

This is my last week at this job. It seems surreal. When I first started, my intention was to stay as long as possible, maybe even through my dissertation phase. Then I found out that they were doing some restructuring of all the grant-sponsored programs within the College of Education, and my boss told me that my job may be in danger of being eliminated. I then set out to find an assistantship, and was successful. Even then, I felt like termination was a looong, looooooooong way off. “August? Geez, that’s forever from now!”

Now it’s July 31st, and my last day is August 3rd. At times I find myself waxing sentimental, but then I have to think about how much I despise my other boss (whom I haven’t really seen in nearly 6 weeks now) and how much it sucks to have a tiny little office on the third floor with no windows. I almost feel bad for “leaving” my boss, and I’m doing all I can to make my transition out of here as smooth as possible for him. I never really felt like I did much here, but as I’m doing all this phase-out work, I see that I really do quite a bit.

I have been so crazy busy that I haven’t had time to drop off library books (no doubt overdue by now) and my laundry situation is getting scary. It won’t be long until the pile of dirty clothes is as tall as I am. Yikes!

On the home front, we’re in the process of varnishing and coating 350 feet of quarter round to have it installed on Thursday. It will do a lot for the overall look of the house. Next up is painting. Within a year, I’d like to have painted the hallway/foyer, living room, den, and master bath. Scott wants to repaint the kitchen (it was done in flat and it shows dirt and grease…we’ll redo in glossy finish, but probably the same colors). I have no idea what else we’ll try to accomplish, but there are a number of things that should be done before we try to sell the house. We’re hoping to make at least some money on it. We’ll see where the housing market goes…

announcement July 29, 2007

Scott and I are seriously considering the possibility of moving to Chicago in May 2009. We’ve been looking at co-ops (affordable for us) and he’s been scouting out jobs. Since he’s a member of the Illinois Bar, has professional connections, and graduated from Northwestern (and did well), his job prospects there are really good. The next step is for me to talk to my advisor and ask him if, realistically, I could narrow myself to one geographic location when I job search. Chicago has a number of colleges and universities, and there may be some consulting or contract possibilities for me there as well, so it’s not like I’m saying “Hey, I’d love to move to Salinas, KS, what are the chances?” Still, I want to make sure I’m not shooting myself in the foot, career-wise.

Considering mortgage, assessments, taxes, etc., most of the coops we’ve been looking at are affordable on what we’re making now. If I can get a job that pays even 1.5x what I’m making now (not hard, esp. in Chicago with a Ph.D.), we could do this. We’d definitely shed our cars, which would free up even more money for us, though some of that naturally would go towards public transportation.

This is so freaking exciting. Having a realistic egress plan in place that will happen for us in a little under 2 years makes living here that much easier to bear.

July 22, 2007

This weekend has been one of the most productive I’ve had in a long, long time. Yesterday Scott cut the grass and I moved our old window from the flower bed (where the contractor left it…gee, thanks) to the curb, picked up all the debris from the storm, and watered the shrubs. Then I came inside and did some touch-up painting from a project last year. It looks a hell of a lot better. Now that it’s done, I think Scott’s more on board with the idea of doing painting in other rooms of the house. It really didn’t make sense to start new projects when there was still work needing to be done on rooms I’d already painted. I can’t decide whether I want to paint the bathroom or the hallway next. I’m thinking bathroom, because that means I can rip down ugly-ass wallpaper. I also did some transcribing. I’m trying to fit in as much as possible before Monday night to get the maximum amount of money out of this phase of the project. Later on I’ll have an opportunity to transcribe the remaining tapes, and the extra $400 will be nice.

Last night I drove to Birmingham to have dinner withladybug1116. We had a really great time and I got to see all the amazing progress they’ve made on their house. It’s been awhile since I was over there last, and the progress was absolutely stunning. It’s really fun to see what some work and imagination can do. Iguana Grill was as fantastic as I’d hoped it would be, and the Mexican grocery we visited afterwards really impressed me. I came home with a package of Oaxaca cheese, which will be good for enchiladas or bean dip tonight.

Today is more transcription, yard work, and watching TV. It’s nice to balance work with slacking off.

July 21, 2007

We had a huge storm come through yesterday and our power was out for nearly 12 hours. Yes, twelve. I went off sometime around 3:30PM yesterday and finally came back on at 3:00 this morning. I really didn’t get to sleep until our A/C was back on, because it was so. effing. hot!  We had dinner with our friend Stu last night, and then he came back over to our place to hang out. We listened to music on the laptop and had candles going everywhere to provide a bit of light. It was actually kind of fun, especially once we opened the back door to let air in. A few houses in our neighborhood got crushed by trees and I felt so bad for them. I had trouble getting home after work because the main road into my neighborhood was blocked by a HUGE tree that had fallen over the street. The dang thing was probably about 75 feet tall and when laid on its side was about 4′ tall. It took them hours to get that cleared out. Power poles were bent, lines down…it was worse than what we got from Katrina. Apparently we had golfball sized hail and 60 mph winds, not to mention incredible amounts of rain.

I’m all about making up for lost rain, but no more storms, plzkthx.

July 17, 2007

For the 2nd year in a row, my paper proposal has been accepted at AESA! This year it’s in Cleveland, so at least I won’t have to spend $400 and 6 hours on a plane to get across the country. I probably need to go ahead and submit something for AERA, too. The more I present, the more my name gets out there, hence, it’s easier to get a job when the time comes. I may end up going to 3 conferences this next academic year. It may be a bit tight for me financially, but it will pay off in the long run. AERA is in NYC, which makes it quite pricey. I may go to either QUIG or SEPES, depending on which is better for my schedule and budget. Considering this is my last year for coursework before I start my dissertation, I really need to get serious about my academic career. I really can’t afford to graduate without at least one or two actual publications under my belt, and if I can get good feedback on my papers, I can turn them into good articles or studies. Since I won’t be working full time after August 3, I can spend a lot more time reading, researching, and writing. I really want to talk to my advisor at some point and say “Hey, I’d love to write something with you.” He’s a nice guy, and I’m interested in what he does (moral judgement development), so I think working with him will be good for me. If he’s not up for it, I can find other people who do interesting work. I think the freedom I’ll have will be good for me.

My birthday weekend July 16, 2007

Thursday morning my Nana called me to wish me a happy birthday…2 days early. What bothered me is that she acted as if she absolutely knew that my birthday was that day. I didn’t have the heart to tell her otherwise.

Scott and I had been talking about getting an HDTV for a few weeks (pretty much since we got back from the honeymoon), but we hesistate to spend that kind of money on a TV. Call it frugalness, call it bourgeoise guilt, but to us it just seemed kind of…wrong. But right at the same time. All of our TVs in the house were 10 or more years old, and one of them was essentially non-functioning. It was a freecycle TV from a friend, and it had video problems, so you had to run it through the VCR to see any picture.  Our other TV was a 13″ TV/VCR combo that’s seen better days. Thursday afternoon, we finally talked it out and decided that we still really wanted one. There was a deal going at Sam’s for a 32″ Phillips, and it was an unbelievable deal. Even at Sears on sale, it was at least $200 more everywhere else. We brought it home and have been just hooked ever since. I’m actually somewhat concerned that we will gain weight and get out of shape from watching TV so much more now….which leads me to something else.

My friend Robin has talked me into training for a half-marathon. I will probably start training later this month or early next, once I buy new running shoes. I have extraordinarily flat feet, and I need a lot of support to keep my feet from pronating. It really stresses your knees and ankles out a lot, and I’d rather not cause myself serious pain. I haven’t run regularly since I was a freshman in college. This should be interesting.

My birthday party on Saturday was a lot of fun. It was a French themed party (since it was also Bastille Day) and I think people actually liked it. We made quiche, ratatouille, Brie en croute (Brie wrapped in buttered phyllo dough and baked), and then put out some fresh blueberries, Manchego and Monterey Jack cheeses, and marinated olives. We had about 10 people there and we really enjoyed ourselves. Scott is now convinced that having people over is fun, so we may be doing more of that in the future.

Yesterday was lazy, other than a couple of hours where I worked on some transcriptions that I was hired to do. For now, I’m charging $60 per tape hour, but as word spreads, I may start charging $80. I’m trying to get through as many tapes as possible in 2 weeks’ time, because the extra money would be nice. We fixed my A/C, and next up is replacing my radiator tank, since it’s pretty much busted. Thus far I’ve not had problems with overheating, but I’m concerned about what leaking coolant will do to my engine. We’ve revived discussions of buying me a new car, but I don’t realistically see that happening for at least another 3-6 months. Sigh. I’ve been eyeing 1999-2001 Honda CR-Vs. I realize they’re sport utility vehicles, but their mileage is still excellent, and I can get one in pretty good shape for around $6K. We have no idea where we’ll move next, and spending a lot of money on a new car just doesn’t seem smart.

I’m beginning the first of 2 full weeks left at this job. Both bosses are gone today, and I don’t anticipate doing jack shit.

July 12, 2007

There’s only 1 more day of suffering in my un-air conditioned car. And I do mean suffering. As it is, it’s around 95 here most days with unbelievable humidity. When you put me in the car with its leather upholstery and all the heat that builds up in it during the day, I generally tend to break a sweat, to put it mildly. Most evenings, I come home, peel off my clothes, and change into clean, non-sweat soaked clothes.

I am really looking forward to getting my car fixed.

July 11, 2007

I’ve decided that I’m giving up on attempting to be friends with people who have blatantly shown me that they don’t value me as a friend. I honestly don’t ask for much from my friends, but when they don’t follow through with the basics of friendship, it hurts. I’m through hurting on behalf of people who don’t deserve me. I think  the notion of “friends” Facebook/MySpace/LJ-style has really perverted people’s sense of what a friend really is. To me, it seems like friends are no more than people one can parade around when it’s convenient to convince others that they’re really likeable or popular. It really sickens me to look at my Facebook “friends” (I can’t NOT put that term in scare quotes) and realize that I only consider a small percentage of those folks to be my actual friends. As in, I have no idea what they do for a living, I’ve never called them, and if I ran into them in public, I probably wouldn’t remember their names right away. Some friend.

I think my days of playing the online popularity game are over.

Wedding stories, continued July 5, 2007

Saturday June 23

I woke up still sick, and I was just crying and miserable. Scott took mercy on me and went to Walgreen’s to pick up some meds for me (deja vu, for sure). He then left to hang out with Utz and give me some down time.  I was drinking 2 tbsp of Pepto every 2 hours, which seems excessive, but I knew that for short term dosing it was OK. I was desperate to feel better. I met my family for beignets and coffee at Cafe du Monde, but for me it was 1 beignet and a Sprite. Oh well. After a little hanging around, I made my way back to the room to rest for a couple hours. The alone time I got that morning was priceless. So many people get so bombarded and stressed out the day of the wedding, but those last few hours alone to myself really helped keep me calm. I felt rested and in control, yet incredibly excited.

At around 12, I took a cab over to my mom’s hotel (where most of our family and some friends were staying) and walked w/ her to go get lunch. That was also special, because we could just spend some time together, leisurely taking our time. I hung out in their suite until 2:20, when the hair and makeup people showed up (40 minutes early…yay for them!) and got to work on me. The photographer showed up an hour later and began taking shots of my makeup and hair being done. They were done with my nails, hair and makeup by about 4:00 (they also did my mom and aunt’s nails) and then I was free to hang out in the hotel for about an hour with my family. It was special. I worked to put the finishing touches on our photo book that we had on the guest book table. There were pictures of us as kids and then some photos of us together over the past 2 and a half years. I hope people liked it.

At 5:00 sharp, my mom, my aunt, and my dad left for Rosy’s. My dad hung out downstairs for a bit while my mom and aunt got me into my dress. It was truly a 3 person job, since I had a 6 foot train in the back. They did great to get me in and all hooked and zipped. The dress admittedly was very comfy. Yes, comfy. The hoopskirt made sitting an interesting task, but I got used to it. At a little after 5:30, we started taking pictures with family and bridal party people. I hate posed shots, and we took very few. I was able to hang out and relax for nearly 30 minutes before the wedding, before we lined up to walk just after 7:00. Most weddings I’ve attended have started at least 15 minutes late, so for mine to start within 5 minutes made me very happy.

The ceremony was absolutely beautiful. I really felt the sacred in those moments and our officiant did a great job. She wore a stunning lavender robe, and I’m so glad she did. The night before she asked what I preferred and I told her that whatever she liked best was fine w/ me. She looked absolutely amazing. Scott didn’t cry once during his vows (he worked hard to practice them so that he wouldn’t), but I did during mine. Oh, well. We both thought he was going to be the one to lose it, but we were wrong. I recovered very quickly and there were no ugly crying pictures of me, so all is well. We were so excited at the end of the ceremony, and we were immediately whisked outside for some downtime and a few pictures of us. Scott talked to his grandma on the phone, which was sweet, because she desperately wanted to be there. After 10 or so minutes, we came back in and did our grand entrance into the reception. Our first dance was “Stars Fell on Alabama.” We never had a chance to practice, but I think things were OK. We didn’t make complete asses of ourselves! People were still in kind of a reverent mood from the ceremony and I just had to laugh. I told a few people, “Go eat! Go drink! Have fun!” It was kind of funny.

The band was great. Worth every cent. When they started in to “Tipitina” I was like “Eff it…no one else is on the dance floor, but I loooove this song.” I think after people got comfy (and had a few) they felt like they could go dance. I danced with Scott, my mom, my dad, a few family members and sometimes with just myself! It just felt so good to be able to enjoy ourselves. The food was also amazing. I tried not to eat too much, given that the most I’d eaten in 18 hours was mashed potatoes, but it was hard. Tons of cheese, veggies, spinach dip, veggie pasta, ratatouille…the cake was good, too. Our cake cutting was funny, because Scott tried to give me a huge bite, and I did my best to not spill it all over my dress. I had a mouth full of cake for like 5 minutes afterwards. It was like that “Milk” commercial from 10 years ago.

Seeing our friends and family all together and having a great time was the best part. We felt so loved. I feel good that I managed to talk to every single person there. I can’t imagine having a huge wedding. We knew everyone there and we were able to just mingle. A few people gave toasts and they were so sweet. (As an aside, I think my MIL was drunk when she gave hers. Nice.) Uncle Cody said to Scott, “You cut the mustard, buddy. Welcome to the family!”

We left at around 11:30 and the plan was for people to see us out w/ sparklers. They put off a hell of a lot of smoke and it was all we could do to get out of there! It was kind of comical, actually. I wish I could have said good-bye to every single person there, but we were ready to go.  Our driver was really nice and took us back to our bed and breakfast and helped us unload our things. The coordinator packed us a huuuuge tray of food to take with us and we wolfed it down like there was no tomorrow. Soooo good.

Looking back, all of the drama and the stress seems so inconsequential now. The very people I thought would sabotage the whole thing (or just not show up at all) became my strongest sources of love and support in the days before the wedding. The things I worried about happening or not happening really didn’t matter. The details melt away when you think about the big picture. What matters is that we have love and happiness, and that we were able to share that with the people who mean so much to us.

OK, so the stories begin July 5, 2007

Wednesday, June 20:
We left the house before 8:00 and drove down to Louisiana. The drive was pretty easy and we took a little detour to take the other bridge over Pontchartrain since the I-10 bridge has been a source of frustration lately. We saw some houses on the bayou that had been totally obliterated, and it was sad. People are still living in FEMA trailers on the land where their houses once stood. That doesn’t seem right or fair.
We met our friends Gary and Elena for lunch at Central Grocery for muffalettas, and then Scott and I took off to Gretna to go get our marriage license. Apparently the Orleans Parish office is a nightmare, so we made the decision to go to Gretna over on the Westbank. It was a paragon of efficiency, and we were in and out in under 10 minutes. We then decided to get something to drink, since it was HOT that day. We stopped into a little restaurant that specialized in hot dogs and when she found out we were getting married, she gave us our drinks for free (Coke for him, tea for me) and gave us some beads, too. I promised her I’d come back before the wedding to come eat, since they had tofu dogs and veggie chili. Even as a vegetarian, I still crave good chili cheese dog.
After that we got checked in to our B&B, which was a story unto itself. The Bywater neighborhood is artsy and known for its eccentric folks. Scott was unloading the car and one of our shopping bags (carrying stuff for the wedding) busted and the stuff went out on the sidewalk. Suddenly, a tall woman pulling a wagon said, “Hey, lemme help ya, I got a wagon” and started loading up the stuff in the wagon and dragging it to the back of the house where our room was. When they arrived I shot Scott a “WTF?!” look and he just shrugged. The woman unloaded the stuff and then said, “Hey, if you see Lisa, tell her Big Vicky’s here.” Lisa was the B&B owner, so we felt safe. Next time I went outside, Big Vicky had stripped down to a tank top and panties and flopped into the pool. She then invited us to stay for dinner (seared scallops basilico), which we politely declined. Apparently she lives in the neighborhood and hangs out w/ Lisa on their beautiful back patio pretty regularly. Only in NOLA…
Later that night we went to Dick and Jenny’s on Tchoupitoulas St. with the (then) future in-laws and Gary and Elena. The food was amazing. Then we went to St. Joe’s (a bar/patio on Magazine St.) and then took them around the Quarter that night. We even walked around Bourbon, since this was their first trip ever to NOLA. It’s tacky and depraved, yet somewhat satisfying.

Thursday, June 21:
We pickedup Mike at the airport, then to Cafe du Monde for breakfast. My dad arrived in the early afternoon and we hung out for awhile and walked around the Quarter and next to the river. Scott, Mike, my dad, and I took the ferry over to Algiers and then straight back, just because it was too hot to do much else. I got quite a bit of sun that afternoon and I sweated a lot. Good thing I was downing water like…uh, water. That night we had dinner at Praline Connection (so, so good) with a host of friends and family. It was really the first big “event” before the wedding, and it was exciting. After that we went to Vaughan’s to watch Kermit Ruffins play. As usual, he was awesome! I stayed out until nearly 2AM, Scott stayed out much later until after 3:30. Some our friends literally came home as the sun was rising.

Friday, June 22:
My dad called about 7:30 AM and said “I’m sick.” He apparently caught a stomach virus from my sister before he left and had been violently ill all night. I went to Walgreen’s to get Pepto, crackers, Sprite, and some Gatorade to take to him at his hotel. He didn’t look good at all. I set him up with stuff to drink and told him I’d check on him later. I felt so terrible, and I was worried that he was seriously ill.
My mom and her family arrived late morning and we went back over to Gretna to the hot dog place, as I’d promised. My mom, my aunt, and my great aunt just loved it! The food was awesome and the atmosphere was adorable. Afterwards, I drove them back to their hotel and went up to check on my dad. He decided to only attend the rehearsal and not attend the dinner. I was sad, but knew he needed his rest.
That afternoon, I started feeling kind of rundown and queasy for no reason. By the time we got to the rehearsal, no doubt I looked awful, and the chaos and disorder of the rehearsal did NOT help me feel better. I think both of our families had a collective 25 point IQ drop. You line up, boys on the right, girls on the left. Don’t walk outside to wander around if someone says “Hey, stick around.” Dee dee dee…People couldn’t get their shit together, and the coordinator didn’t seem to have a grip on things at all, but she morphed into a complete control freak. It was embarrassing and frustrating. We were pretty unhappy when we left, but knew things would go well the next day. During the whole ride to dinner, we complained and vented.
At the dinner, I felt really ill. I ordered food, but wasn’t hungry. Suddenly, I knew all bets were off. I bolted to the bathroom, where I proceeded to vomit like I hadn’t in a long, long time. When I opened the door, Scott, my mom, and a waitress were there. Mom and Scott hugged me and made sure I was OK, and the waitress made a “tummy cocktail” of bitters and soda water to calm down the queasy. It worked, but I still ate very, very little. Too bad, because the food was actually quite good. I sipped soda water and prayed that I’d feel better. Everyone met us at the Bulldog (an English pub with an awesome patio) after dinner (about 40-something people in all) and while it was fun, I wasn’t able to really enjoy myself since I was weak and tired. We turned in pretty early (around 11:30).