I have an interview in an hour and a half for a qual lab position. I don’t think I’ll be getting a teaching assistantship position for next year, and that’s totally fine by me. If I work in the qual lab I’ll be part time and can basically set my own schedule to a certain extent. I’m actually kind of nervous, even though I’ve already had 2 people putting in a good word for me. I really don’t want to fuck this up. I need funding, and I need a new job. My position will be “killed” as of August, so I have to have something to do. Scott is completely against the idea of me just not working, and understandably.
Speaking of, he is driving me nuts with his money paranoia. No one is more money conscious than I am, but I think I have met my match here. I realize that in a few weeks here, we’re going to be dropping money like crazy making final payments and whatnot, but it’s really getting to me. I feel guilty even doing something like buying food for myself. Then there was the whole car fiasco. A few months ago he said, “We should buy you a new car after the wedding.” I was really happy, because my car is on the decline. The A/C is totally gone and it has minor mechanical issues, but it’s still “safe.” However, it’s not really a car you want to take out of town. Then he started freaking out about the cost of buying a new car, insuring it, etc. I said, “Fine, I don’t need a new car.” He kept waffling and it drove me nuts. Yes or no, dammit! Then he tossed out the idea of a Vespa. We know how that turned out. Then he went back to the idea of a new car. I finally said that he needed to stop dangling this in front of me if all he was going to do is waffle and freak out about money. Don’t even get me started on his current concern w/ “how much it will cost to make sure I have health/vision/dental insurance.” Please. Don’t constantly blabber on about how worried you are, but then qualify your statements with “Oh, but I know you need insurance.” Yeah, I do, so quit it already! There are just some things in life you can’t get away with not having, and insurance is one of them.
It’s not my fault he insisted on hiring a band (rather than just DJ’ing the reception on our iPod/iTunes). It’s not my fault he suddenly got the urge to invite people he hasn’t even talked to in like 5 years. It’s not my fault he’s wanting to plan a $50/head rehearsal dinner. It’s not my fault he wanted to extend the reception for another hour (and keep the bar open). Yet these all become my problem. We’re talking a difference of over $2000 here, and none of these were my idea.
I’m really frustrated right now.
In slight defense of your man; I know what he’s going through.
There is a massive amount of pressure to be “THE GREAT PROVIDER” and then when you start looking at all the stuff that it will take there is a period of “OH CRAP!” that we go through.
I did it with Aishah.
Over the same issue.
We hashed it out and ended up with the compromise of sharing a car for the first year and then looking into the prospect of getting a second car *IF* it was needed.
Now then, I know that the situation of public transit and close locale of things is WAY different here in the Chicago region versus where you are.
Even here in the suburbs of Chicago a Vespa is nearly useless… yet there I was tossing the idea out.
I am sure that Aishah was very frustrated with my bouncing around with the panic and jitteriness.
Just realize that his mind is racing a million miles a minute trying to adjust his life and finances to make sure that he is the best husband that he can be for you and that underneath all his “tweakiness” is the desire to take care of you in every way.
We’re men… don’t expect us to be smart about what we say in this state of mind.
You have a point there. I didn’t think of it in those terms. It’s hard to hear someone else worry about money when I’m already in a tight situation. If you want to line your pockets, don’t work in higher ed.
oh man, I totally feel you on that. I make about 1/2 to 1/3 of what I should given my profession because I’ve chosen to take a position with a charity organization. For most charities that wouldn’t matter. They continue to pay Public Relations managers the typical $55-75K per year.
However, for our organization it just doesn’t feel right.
I’m not complaining, mind you, I don’t mind making less than $30K because the work that I do has far-reaching effects.
I take that hit from choice because I believe in what we do.
All that being said, it really pisses me off when people who are making three to four times my income level are whining about how they are strapped for cash and they can’t afford all this and that.
Grr…
*fumes*
It irritates me to no end how these people could have been saved all the aggrivation if they just lived a modest and humble lifestyle rather than attempting to show off thier wealth with fancy cars, houses and clothes all the time.
Don’t get me started on the BMW Imams…
I can’t imagine all of the stress you’re going through right now. I hope your interview went well! I know you are a $$ and job savvy person and that the right opportunity will open up for you.
I’m sure you will get everything w/the wedding squared away as well. Is there any chance to change any of the pricier things Scott wants (the rehearsal dinner or hrs of open bar?)
Matt and I are getting very excited for the whole weekend and we found super cheap, direct flights to NOLA ($133/person roundtrip…and that includes taxes and fees), arriving Friday morning and departing Sunday morning for anyone who might be looking to fly. We calculated with the price of gas, travel time and parking charges at the hotel it costs the same…and maybe even saves us a few bucks!
That’s an incredible deal on the flights!!!! We’re so glad that y’all are coming.
I think in the end, I’ll just suck it up and Scott will stop bitching about the money when it all rolls around and he’s having such a great time at the RD and the reception. We can afford it, but that doesn’t keep him from being paranoid.
Seriously. So many people down here live far above their means and then wonder why the hell they can’t retire. Do the math: if you make $45K/year, you can’t live in a $300K house and drive 2 late model cars and put your kids in after school activities and not expect to have a shitload of debt.
Right now I’m not making jack squat, but in a few years, I’ll double or even triple (i’a!!!!!) my income, but for now it really, really sucks. It’s hard for Scott because he was living in Chicago and making the big bucks working at a firm, and now he’s making less than half of what he was making back in 1998. When you get used to a certain lifestyle, it’s hard to change.
“When you get used to a certain lifestyle, it’s hard to change.“
You know; before I married my beloved Aishah I was sweating bullets about all the things I would have to change and adjust in order to make room in my life/apartment/budget for a wife.
Now that we are married it is aaaaalll easy.
Priorities change fast after those vows are said.
real fast.
I love her completely and no sacrifice is felt because the benefits are a billion times greater than the cost.
I think now about how I spent $65 on groceries once I came back for the same amount of time that I spent $150 before.
I don’t NEED material/foodie indulgences anymore. Everything is sated.
Insh’Allah all will come for you two as readily.